Happy belated birthday to my sister, she is a role model and my best friend since birth! Love you so much Winnie!

Palolo in American Samoa 2019

Palolo in American Samoa 2019

Palolo experience in American Samoa

Stayed up til 3am waiting for palolo at Fatumafuti over the weekend.

Everyone was camped out on the beach, or in their cars, and on the sea wall.

I couldn’t even count all the boats that were out. It was like a floating village!

Some people got lucky out on the boats but we left the shore with empty nets

still waiting for the big one…

here are some scenes from that night.

 

It’s interesting that there have been reports of big uprisings of palolo in Samoa, Fiji, Vanuatu, but we had a seemingly smaller season this month. I think Manu’a had better luck than here on Tutuila.

This is all third hand information since all I know is that where we were at Fatumafuti, and along the coast, we didn’t get any palolo.

I asked around and nobody seems to know for sure if they come from the reef flats or the reef slope in deeper areas. I’m wondering if the weather plays a role in it too. This year had the calmest weather for palolo season… usually it’s all windy and the swells are bigger. Maybe not having as much movement in the water keeps the palolo from coming to shore. Who knows, I’m just conjecturing over here 🙂

In a creative funk and how I cope

In a creative funk and how I cope

As a creative, I find myself in a funk more often than I want to admit.

This doesn’t always happen, but every now and then, there’s this gross state of limbo where I feel like I’m not enough, that my work isn’t representative, that it serves no purpose, that I have no audience… I question myself and doubt my creativity.

Just to be clear though, I am mindful that this creeping emotion is only when I’m in a really deep funk about what I’m doing as a creative, and this does not affect other parts of my life, which are otherwise pretty rad.

Most other times that I’m feeling down on my creative ventures, it usually induces more of a numb state of emotion. A funk where I’m just there but not really present… Picture me sitting in bed looking like a sad potato, scrolling mindlessly and sighing inwardly. It sucks.

I wish I could always be motivated and productive with the act of creating, but it can be hard to keep myself on the up and up. It’s not realistic. Anything can put us in a funk, because (and many artists would probably agree), it’s the artist’s curse.

When I find myself in any type of draining dramatic valley, I have a few different ways of coping.

 

I’ll clean my home. This is when I’m feeling particularly productive despite my state of emotions. I have a really simple cleaning routine that puts me in autopilot mode, cleaning out the junk in my life and effectively clearing the junk out of my mind.

I’ll  watch lifestyle videos on YouTube. This sounds like a weird way of coping, but here’s how it helps me. I’m not always inwardly motivated. Sometimes just watching others live their life helps bring perspective to my life, and seeing others thriving gives me motivation to look at my journey from the sidelines for a minute before jumping back into my lane. Does anyone else do this?

I’ll make something anyways. I know I know… even when I feel so unmotivated and that gross state of limbo funk feels debilitating, I’ll make something anyways! And it will probably be crappy, like 99% of the time. But that’s ok. It’s a speed bump in the road, but at least I’m still moving forward.

I’ll go outside. Take a couple of breaths and move my body literally outside of my comfort zone (aka my bed). Being outside is healing. And it’s personally my inspiration for a lot of my work. So I’m taking myself out of my funk and immersing myself in every day inspiration.

I’ll wallow in it. This one is something that I think most people do without realizing it, but wallowing in the very thing that makes me feel glum can sometimes feel like the only way to get out of my funk. I’m not sure how effective this actually is as a coping mechanism, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. It takes time.

 


 

These are just some of the ways I can think of that have helped me when I’m in a loop.

I’ve been in and out of a creative funk for the last few weeks. And on one of the days, I used my “make something anyways” method. I quickly made this kinda crappy, but not too crappy graphic to use as my desktop wallpaper. It has all my favorite colors, and a little note to self: you got this.

This post serves as a little reminder that we all cope in different ways, and since it was recently Mental Health Awareness Day (October 10th, 2019), I thought it would be good practice to jot down my thoughts and share my experience. Maybe you’ve felt the same way too?

Anyway, if you read this all the way to the end, wow so cool of you, and thanks for reading! And if you want, you can get this free desktop wallpaper too! Just right click on the image, open image in new tab, then on the new tab, click on the image to make sure it’s at it’s full size, right click on the image, then select “Save image as…”

Thanks for reading, and remember – you got this!

Backyard bonfire

Backyard bonfire

October 13, 2019.


Bonfire, ava, and food.

Hangin’ with our community of neighbors and our pups last Sunday in the backyard.

Good vibes all around.

TEDx Pago Pago

TEDx Pago Pago

Shout out to the best ice cream shop on the island, Samu’s Ice Cream! Thanks for sponsoring us 🙂

Rad photos by Alafaga.