Helloooo there. It’s meeeee. Nerelleeeee.

It has been a hoot of a while — and I have missed this space of mine to document my ever-changing life, romanticizing it in a way, and to express my gratitudes in words and images.

A summary of the most inexplicably changing and evolving 5 months of my life thus far

TLDR: Some big updates…

I gave birth!!

I have a baby!!!

And, I moved!!!!

As it goes in life, it has been a journey.

Here’s a little summary for memories sake.

October 2022

In October, I had to travel to the mainland for my birth. It was a decision I did not take lightly as I had originally wanted to give birth in American Samoa, because A) it was far cheaper than giving birth in the mainland, B) it’s where I was born and I liked the idea of giving birth to my babe in AS too, and C) I would be comfortable at home immediately after birth (i.e. I wouldn’t have to go through the hassle of traveling with a newborn). However, after a miscarriage in my first pregnancy not even a year prior, an early diagnosis of placenta previa, and some very debilitating pelvic girdle pain for a portion of my 2nd and 3rd trimester, it became the obvious choice to put health and safety first for me and baby. Also, I’m incredibly fortunate to have family in the mainland with space to house me and Ian. We spent the month of October preparing for our extended trip to the mainland. We sold a bunch of stuff at a local swap meet, we hung out with our friends as often as we could, we lined up our work plans, and our best friends put on a baby shower for us before we left.

November 2022

In November, I spent the 9th month of my pregnancy catching up with all the doctors visits: including detailed ultrasounds, asking a multitude of questions, planning my birth, and enjoying the lovely customer service I forgot existed elsewhere in the world. Yeah… my prenatal appointments in American Samoa were basic, to say the least. Not to go too much into it, but all my “appointments” at LBJ Tropical Medical Center (American Samoa’s only hospital) were essentially walk-in visits. To paint a picture for you: It would take me an average of three hours of waiting, starting at 7am, outside in the heat or rain, depending on the day, fighting for chairs when they were rolled out at 8am, lining up like cows behind the prenatal clinic with the A/C unit exhaust fans blowing at our backs, and getting seen on a first come first serve basis. But mind you, all the prenatal visits in American Samoa are $free ninety nine! So you get what you pay for. Still, thank the good Lord for my work-provided health insurance that covered a large portion of my bills whilst I was in the mainland. I also spent the month having quality time with my Arizona family, resting as much as I could, and being grateful for my health and this baby that was about to join us so soon.

December 2022

In December, I was full on pregnant and my due date was towards the end of the month. I took it easy. I waddled like a penguin. My belly bump dropped. I went into labor. And then I became a mom!! And it was really beautiful. And so so so hard. Still, I’m the luckiest gal in the world because not only did I just give birth to the most gorgeous baby girl — Alava Laine Ann — but I had the love and support of my husband and all our families combined. It was so great to have quality time spent with our families all together under one roof. Our families celebrated Christmas all together, a first of hopefully many more. I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to come to the mainland for the remainder of my pregnancy and for the birth and postpartum period. I learned SO MUCH about myself, my body, and my baby. My body grew a living breathing sentient human being, and I continue to grow her by nursing her, providing for her, and loving on her.

January 2023

In January, I continued to learn ALL the things. My heart was full. And my hands were full too — of diapers that needed to be changed, leaky boobs to wield, and most especially of a darling baby to hold, love, and feed. And even as I was surrounded and supported by a loving family, I still struggled mentally, emotionally, and physically. My postpartum recovery felt slow and hard. Some days just felt gray because I wasn’t confident in my mama skills. My relationship with my husband became strained because we were both figuring out life with a baby, no sleep, travel plans, recovery, work, and our upcoming move. Half the time I felt like I was in survival mode. But we took each day one day at a time. It was the hardest time of my life, even harder than delivering a human out of my vagina. But I digress. During this time of learning, Ian and I were also constantly talking about next steps. We had our big move coming up and we had so much to do, and so little time. Somehow, by the strength of our will, and despite lack of sleep, we lined things up and proceeded as best we could. We put a payment down for a new electric car (!!) and found a cute furnished bungalow in Santa Cruz to be our landing pad for our move. We packed and repacked our bags (so much baby stuff!) and traveled to Hawai’i and then to American Samoa… with a newborn! We had a marvelous layover in Hawai’i, which helped us to get back into the groove of traveling. It was touch and go at times, but it turned out to be a pretty decent experience.

February 2023

In February, we rocked and rolled. We were in American Samoa for such a short amount of time — a little less than a few weeks — to tie up loose ends with work and life on the islands. We stayed with my parents, mailed our stuff up to our new address in California, reconnected with friends in our neighborhood, and gave our baby girl a taste of life in Samoa. We took her for her first ocean swim (we dipped her to her bum in Waikiki but don’t really count that as a full swim), had a really lovely baby dedication for her at my parents’ church, took her on a hike at Vatia Lower Sauma trail, introduced her to everybody (her adoring fans!), and spent lots of time with her godparents, Gabs, Traci, and Ano. We packed our bags again and had a pretty horrible travel experience back up to the states. The weather was really bad – rain, lightning, and thunder – on the way out of American Samoa, so our flight got postponed to the following afternoon. which meant that we missed our connecting flight, we arrived to Hawai’i at midnight, had to overnight in a hotel nearby, and had to wake up at 5am to make it back to the airport to catch our 8am flight. Whew. We got to LA tired and grumpy, but the very next day, we got our brand new car!! A 2023 Chevrolet Bolt EUV with the trimmings. We were stoked but also so tired, and in the midst of a winter storm in LA, and it was cold and blustery for the next few days. We spent the next days catching up on rest, and packing yet again, and hopefully for the last time in a little while. We packed our new car up to the brim with all the stuff of our lives, and all the baby stuff, and spent an entire day driving up the coast to Santa Cruz, our new town. Brimming with excitement, we immediately unpacked a majority of our stuff on the first night we got to our place. It’s a cute furnished bungalow just a few blocks from the beach — a perfect little landing pad for me and my little family to get more familiar with the town and settle in. Ian started his new job, and I’m doing remote work and caring for Alava. And thankfully, my in-laws came to help with us for the first little bit.

Now it’s March, and I’m a bit in shock at how fast the time has flown. My baby girl is growing so fast. Our lives are changing rapidly. I’m taking it all in with gratitude and trying to get as much rest as I can in between. I’m excited to be in this new space, a new chapter to be sure. There’s a lot to explore, and I’m ready for new adventures with my little family <3

If you read all the way to here, thanks for sticking around and catching up with me. I haven’t properly journaled in the last 5 months, so this was cathartic and exactly what I needed.

xoxo,

Nerelle