Swimming and laughing with all the little kids in the neighborhood (how did there get to be so many?!).
Snorkeling and taking photos of all the sea critters with my ex-boyfriend (now husband, you get the deal).
Scoping out what fish is good for food, mentally preparing myself to one day catch a fish with a three prong spear and thank the fish for its life.
Jumping off the pier at high tide.
Floaty Fridays, when our little community shows up to the beach after work on Fridays and we just float around and hang out.
Feeling lucky when I see turtles and spotted eagle rays.
Holding my breath and trying to “free dive” to like anything deeper than 10 feet.
Waking up early and watching the sunrise from the treehouse.
Watching the sparkles in the water, like iridescent glitter from warm sunbeams on the sea’s surface.
Wading in waist deep water, squatting til we’re dipped to our chest, one hand with a bevvy and lots of random chatting.
Late nights escaping our neighbor’s house party and going to the treehouse to gawk at the expanse of the Milky Way and talk about really deep things that make us feel grounded and connected.
Seeing birds flying home from their hunt, just before sunset.
Feeling like the birds at the end of the day — coming home and wanting to go back out again.
Now that I’m moderately older—nearly 30, wow—I can see it more clearly.
The small things that add up. The parts of me that look and feel familiar.
From mom: my hands, my sensitivity.
From my dad: my nose, my stubbornness.
Traits I have previously dismissed because I just didn’t see it, but now I can’t deny it.
These parts of me, and many more, cultivated over time by my genetics, shared DNA, even the learned behavioral antics.
More recently, I’ve been pondering on the attributes I see in my parents that make them who they are, and how these are reflected in my own mannerisms, thought process, attitude, and personality.
Come to think of it, I wonder what traits my parents saw in themselves from their parents… I’ll have to ask them.
Like so many others, I realized that my parents were far from perfect during my formative years.
There were times when they’d make me feel like anything was possible… when they took me traveling, or when they taught me a new skill.
But there were also times when I dreaded even communicating honestly with my parents… with their outdated beliefs and their silent treatments, and I wished to be nothing like them.
And as if through a looking glass, I wonder if what I see in them will be what becomes of me in the next five, ten, or twenty years when I go through my own iterations of the same chapters of life.
I think that I’ll ultimately have to decide for myself who I want to be as I continue to grow and learn who I am.
While I’m growing more certain of the power I have over my own choices, I’m definitely influenced by them — this is really where I get it from — I am my own version of my mom and dad.
My most immediate places of interest are to visit LA and Phoenix to be reunited with family. And to explore the city together.
The Philippines… specifically, I want to visit my family’s lands, and see where my mom and dad and their family grew up in old historic Vigan and Manila.
Go see the 1 square foot plot of land in Ireland that bought for my husband years ago… is it even real? Was it just a gag gift? I want to find out, and I want to explore the beautiful green country with him.
Scotland as well. My husband is Scottish Irish, so anywhere we have ties to… I would love to see it in person and connect with it — to keep our heritage from fading, and to gain an appreciation for what our ancestors went through, leading us to where we are today.
It would be super cool to go sailing in Europe as well. I know very little about which islands I’ve seen photos of, but Mallorca, Santorini, and the Azores look incredible, and I would love to bask in their spring or summer season.
And, to quote Susan Sontag, “I haven’t been everywhere, but it’s on my list.”
