Yay, my mail came in! Just got my bamboo lap desk that I ordered from Amazon, and I am loving it. Now I can comfortably use my laptop in bed, even while lying down. Still waiting on my memory foam pillow chair which will soon upgrade (downgrade?) my WFH setup to be the comfiest it’s been all quarantine.

I’m currently lying in bed airdropping my favorite snaps from this week on my iPhone. I took a bunch of photos on Three, but the raw files are still in my Lightroom waiting to get edited.

For now, an unrelated serious but not too serious soliloquy…

~

Am I “settling” because I don’t—at this present moment—feel super career driven or like I want to throw all my efforts into something?

I ponder this to myself whenever I see friends and strangers posting their squares of accomplishments on instagram. Good for them, I think, as I double tap and continue my scrolling habits, not thinking much else about it until later when the comparison game plays on in my mind, and I wonder if I’m not living up to whatever goals I allow society to place on me?

On the one hand, my own instagram grid is full of curated images that show only the best sides of my life–salty, sunny, and happy, I guess.

Not I guess like I’m lying about being happy, but I guess because I too am putting out what I believe others want to see from me. Come to think of it, a friend or stranger scrolling on their phones might also think these same “grass is greener on the other side” thoughts when they come across my photo…

Thank goodness that I have a decently healthy relationship with social media. I’ve seen how it affects some people who only see surface level obsessed with trends, filters, photoshopped faces, and unhealthy body image, and it’s so unfortunate.

On the other hand, I could be doing more. Surely, there’s always something bigger, brighter, better out there that I could aspire to do. It’s human nature to never be fully satisfied, no? And yet, life at home for me, amidst this global pandemic, is everything I want and need right now. I don’t feel like I need to do anything more, but simply be.

I don’t remember if I wrote this in a previous blog post but I recently came across this quote by the Dalai Lama that said:

“We are human beings, not human doings. Stop doing, and just be.”

That perfectly sums up my conclusion to the earlier thoughts on settling. I’m not “settling” because I do have other dreams and goals for the future, even though I’m not actively working on it right now. I’m reading Swell by Captain Liz Clark and feeling fueled by wanderlust to buy a boat (unlikely as it is), and I still have dreams to make it big one day with a creative pursuit even though I have no idea what and how…

On that note, I’m certainly content with my now. I must reiterate that I love my life, and I am sincerely happy with where I’m at at this stage of my life. There’s more to explore out there, and I’m thrilled for what’s to come as I rest and relish in this moment of waiting. As for what’s next, I’m just keeping my fingers crossed, and praying to God for a propitious journey.

~

Hope you’re safe, warm, and well friends and strangers of the interwebs!

Oh and here are some photos from a few days ago when I actually left home, feeling safe in the fact that we still have no suspected or confirmed cases of COVID, and joined Gabby for her work day location scouting with Land Grant for photos for their project proposal.

The day was so hot and humid that even the weather service was reporting higher than usual temps. Our first location was at an agro-forestry farmland somewhere in the A`asu mountain. I left my phone in the car, so photos from my camera to come later.

Thankfully, the next location was Nu`uuli waterfall.

My skin drank in the delicious light mist all around us from sparkling streams as we made the short hike to the first pool.

Gabby and Deej discussed photo concepts and tested angles, while I sat on the large boulder asking Tony, a forestry employee at the Land Grant, to identify all the trees around us. He knew them all by common and scientific names, and I was impressed and wanted him to write it all down in a guide book so I could recall their names later on.

I wished we could have stayed longer but Deej and Tony had a meeting they were late for, and since we carpooled, they were our ride back. We snapped some photos and started the jaunt back.